084 All About Being an Ally

Today we’re talkin’ bout being an ally: the reality of what happens when you get educated and decide to use your privilege for good. An honest conversation about the realities of allyship and how to properly process difficult feelings.  

In This Episode

Nichole and Callie have a frank discussion about what happens when you become an ally, particularly the tough things that come up or occur, the ways your life will change that will challenge you and your privilege, including:
  • You will feel isolated
  • You may lose relationships
  • You WILL mess up, many times
  • You will learn that people HATE you for your privilege, and you will not be able to change their minds (and you shouldn’t try!)
When we become allies, we feel like it’s inappropriate to complain or feel burdened by our new knowledge. And, in a lot of spaces, it is! But that doesn’t mean that the difficulties aren’t real. We just have to process our guilt and our discomfort in the appropriate ways. Some tips we give for processing properly as an ally include:
  • Do not ever ever ever process AT the marginalized group you are trying to be an ally for, only process with people with your privilege
  • Realize that your voice does not need to be heard in every conversation – leave it out of spaces made for people in the marginalized group(s)
  • Consume media made by people of the marginalized group for the people in the marginalized group (and again, just consume, don’t comment!)
  • Accept that you will always be a little “ist,” you grew up with privilege inside a system of oppression (or several) and that shit gets internalized DEEP. You will always be learning and discovering icky little things you have to seek out and destroy. This FUCKING SUCKS to admit, but it’s true and it will make a better ally if you own up to it.
Being an ally, like being vegan, is tough but critically important. Learning to be a good ally is just as tough and important. Step into this role knowing it’s going to be fucking hard, you will mess up, but that if you can learn to listen and grow, you will be ok.

Links and Information

News Ally Resources & Education
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